I want to thank you all great gentlemen (for that is what you are), for staying loyal to the Hereford 9. For the "9" is much more than a blog. For some it has become the whipping boy of the blogging community. But I say no! It is that small flicker of light in a dark room that yearns to burn brightly.
Gentlemen, I know you all have been wondering what has been going on my life. Well, my life has become difficult. Like a small ship caught in a storm tipping from side to side hoping for that rogue wave that will end it all. In its waning death rolls, that ship looks back fondly on such great posts such as "5 greatest movies in the last 10 years" and the "myth of marriage." All great memories. But one must not live in the past. It is time to look forward. Thanks to google, that ship has been given new life.
Friday night:
A friend from Baltimore who will remain nameless and I, decided at 12:40 A.M. after drinking all night that it would be a good idea to go to Tijuana, Mexico. For those of you who don't know, Tijuana is a shithole and one of the most dangerous cities in the western world. You are better off trusting a crackwhore before you ask a Tijuana police officer the time of day. Well, we go to Adalitas which is notorious stirp club/whorehouse. Don't get me wrong gentlemen, these are amazingly beautiful women. Well, we are hammered. At the mercy of these whores and their drug smuggling cartel pimps. I am there for the show and some more booze. But my buddy, who just hours earlier pronounced his undying loyalty and love for his girlfriend was on a mission to fuck as many mexican jumping beans as possible. I lost my friend for hours and took to paying these "ladies" to look for him. Well, hours later we meet and he looks like he's been through the rinse cycle. I ask him how things went and he tells me that he tried to go down on one of these whores and she recommended that he avoid mouth contact. That's right! This jackass tried to provide oral pleasure to a Mexican prostitute. You have any idea how much man meat has been in a hot Mexican prostitute by 1 A.M. About half a cow. I asked him why. He says it was just out of instinct. It's always his first move. What the F? Your instinct? As soon as you go down on any chick, she has the upper hand. Not the mention that she's a fucking prostitute! Well, from there, I spend my time talking to this hot mommy trying to find out why the hell she was selling her hot ass. I tend to play "Captain Save a Ho" when I'm drunk. She says she has no other options. I think she was in love. We had a moment in time. Feeling guilty about spending time away from my girlfriend who is less than single, I felt it was time to leave. It was 5 A.M. We seek an ATM to pay a cabbie. I find two muscular Mexican men who are willing to guide me to that ATM. I start to follow them and then realize that they were probably gonna kick my ass and take my money, so I jump into a cab. The cabbie confirmed that they would have probably tamed me and named me. My keen law enforcement instincts had been so watered down by the copious amounts of alcohol that I almost did not realize it. Wow! I could have been rolled, but Jesus was there. Thank you god. There is more to this story, but I grow tired and shall finish soon. Be safe oh my brothers and only friends. I will talk to you soon.
Gentlemen, I know you all have been wondering what has been going on my life. Well, my life has become difficult. Like a small ship caught in a storm tipping from side to side hoping for that rogue wave that will end it all. In its waning death rolls, that ship looks back fondly on such great posts such as "5 greatest movies in the last 10 years" and the "myth of marriage." All great memories. But one must not live in the past. It is time to look forward. Thanks to google, that ship has been given new life.
Friday night:
A friend from Baltimore who will remain nameless and I, decided at 12:40 A.M. after drinking all night that it would be a good idea to go to Tijuana, Mexico. For those of you who don't know, Tijuana is a shithole and one of the most dangerous cities in the western world. You are better off trusting a crackwhore before you ask a Tijuana police officer the time of day. Well, we go to Adalitas which is notorious stirp club/whorehouse. Don't get me wrong gentlemen, these are amazingly beautiful women. Well, we are hammered. At the mercy of these whores and their drug smuggling cartel pimps. I am there for the show and some more booze. But my buddy, who just hours earlier pronounced his undying loyalty and love for his girlfriend was on a mission to fuck as many mexican jumping beans as possible. I lost my friend for hours and took to paying these "ladies" to look for him. Well, hours later we meet and he looks like he's been through the rinse cycle. I ask him how things went and he tells me that he tried to go down on one of these whores and she recommended that he avoid mouth contact. That's right! This jackass tried to provide oral pleasure to a Mexican prostitute. You have any idea how much man meat has been in a hot Mexican prostitute by 1 A.M. About half a cow. I asked him why. He says it was just out of instinct. It's always his first move. What the F? Your instinct? As soon as you go down on any chick, she has the upper hand. Not the mention that she's a fucking prostitute! Well, from there, I spend my time talking to this hot mommy trying to find out why the hell she was selling her hot ass. I tend to play "Captain Save a Ho" when I'm drunk. She says she has no other options. I think she was in love. We had a moment in time. Feeling guilty about spending time away from my girlfriend who is less than single, I felt it was time to leave. It was 5 A.M. We seek an ATM to pay a cabbie. I find two muscular Mexican men who are willing to guide me to that ATM. I start to follow them and then realize that they were probably gonna kick my ass and take my money, so I jump into a cab. The cabbie confirmed that they would have probably tamed me and named me. My keen law enforcement instincts had been so watered down by the copious amounts of alcohol that I almost did not realize it. Wow! I could have been rolled, but Jesus was there. Thank you god. There is more to this story, but I grow tired and shall finish soon. Be safe oh my brothers and only friends. I will talk to you soon.
posted by knotts46 at 7:43 PM
2 Comments:
Benjamin,
Gentle soul, your poignant post on the little blog that couldn't, still probably won't, but God help us, someday just might, got me to thinking, and yes as my analytical flights of fancy often do, got me to yahooing(trademark) Mexican labor statistics. I'm not so much worried about your nameless amigo's tongue, which has no doubt sprouted pulsating, acrid vines of regret at this point as I am about the growing disparity in wages in the world and certainly TJ's most venerated profession.
Leave it to the good folks over at Mexican Labor News and Analysis and the Authentic Labor Front (Frente Autentico del Trabajo - FAT) to set the record straight. You'll notice this alarming statistic:
PERCENT DIFFERENCE IN WAGES
Technical Workers 11%
Teachers 16.8%
Artists 6%
Public officials & Private Managers 28%
Supervisor & bosses 48%
Artisans & laborers 14%
Workers helpers 14%
Domestic workers 33.4%
Clerical workers 20%
Service employees 11%
Farmers 9%
Professionals 32%
That's right, a gauling 32% wage disparity for female professionals as compared to their male counterparts for basically doing the same thing as Derek will no doubt affirm, but then I did a little more research, and I found this even more disturbing statistic on "A Socialite's Life" website. According to ASL, no relation to FAT,
"Half a dozen Mexico City prostitutes have been arrested for using eye drops containing a sleep-inducing drug to knock out and rob their clients, leaving at least five men dead, a newspaper said on Monday.
One central city district has recorded 17 cases this year including five deaths from the drug cyclopentolate -- a muscle relaxant used in eye examinations to dilate the pupil and blur vision.
"Once they are in the hotel it seems they slip a substance into the client's drink. Our data shows that they are using eye drops," local prosecutor Fernando Lopez told the daily El Universal. Mixing eye drops, which are not meant to be swallowed, with alcohol can create a fatal mixture for someone with heart problems, experts say.
One 39-year-old man who survived his ordeal and woke up giddy and missing his wallet, said he was careful not to let his drink out of his sight -- but unwittingly ingested the drug after the sex worker secretly applied it to her nipples."
The alarming statistic being that at least 1 Mexican prostitute is applying a toxin made of jose walker negra and visine to her nipples.
This of course makes me think of the great stand at the Alamo where Davy Crockett was heard exclaiming as Santa Ana plunged his saber deep into his heart, "Remember the Alamo, but more importantly do not fall for the whiskey nip trick, because it so not just whiskey, of course now that I have a sword in my left ventricle, I sure wish the poison had worked faster." Of course history remembers it differently, but we know better, far better.
Nice to see some things never change Ben.
Post a Comment
<< Home